and the cat begins to plan our demise

Drew's new favorite toy is his activity walker. (yes, the one we stole from grandmother's house, I know, Mom. You'll get it back. Some day.)

For those of you who have not reproduced and thus are not part of the wonderful world of Fisher-Price, this is an activity walker:

(and what's up with the androgynous kid with the too-short pants? you can buy a $30 toy but you can't get your kid some clothes that fit?)

From what I can tell, the purpose of this toy is to allow your child to move much faster than he is currently physically capable of moving, thereby endangering all other living beings that reside with the child.

One of Drew's favorite activity walker undertakings involves loudly and screechingly attempting to mow down our cat, Bastian.

And I have to admit, it's one of the funniest sights I've seen - the cat swerving around the corner, ears flattened, tummy low, followed quickly by the walker pushed by Drew, whose eyes are alight with the joy of the hunt.

I know. I'm going straight to hell.

For some reason, Drew thinks the walker works better if, while he's pushing it, he yells "HEYHEYHEYDAHDAHHEYHEYHEY" at the top of his lungs (kind of like a white and tiny Fat Albert)- as if the force of the sound waves can propel him further and faster.

Obviously, this is even more distressing for Bastian. Oh, the indignities he's suffering. You can almost hear him thinking, "why why why do humans teach their offspring to walk?"

Well. If we didn't learn to walk, we wouldn't be able to bring you cat food and empty your poopy litter box. That's the only reason we need to get around anyway, right?

Comments

[Mom]

Poor Bastian! Try to find him a place he can escape and have some peace!