Mine mine mine, all mine

finally...

A Democrat with some sense.

"I am convinced, almost all of the progress in Iraq and throughout the Middle East will be lost if those forces are withdrawn faster than the Iraqi military is capable of securing the country.
The leaders of Iraq's duly elected government understand this, and they asked me for reassurance about America's commitment. The question is whether the American people and enough of their representatives in Congress from both parties understand this.
I am disappointed by Democrats who are more focused on how President Bush took America into the war in Iraq almost three years ago, and by Republicans who are more worried about whether the war will bring them down in next November's elections, than they are concerned about how we continue the progress in Iraq in the months and years ahead."

Well said, Senator.

a reminder

If you live in South Carolina and you haven't done so already, please consider signing and mailing in the petition to support Jessica's Law in this state.

A copy of the petition, and additional information, can be found here.

Also, if you want to send a Christmas care package to show your support for the troops, check out Any Soldier. I'm definitely going to do this - what an awesome way to do your part in helping to boost the morale of our troops!

just a diversion

Truer words were never spoken...

UCAUTION

IN THE INTEREST OF SAFETY IT IS ADVISABLE TO KEEP AMY AWAY FROM FIRE AND FLAMES.

From Go-Quiz.com

Thanks to Storrmie for the fun linky.

and the cat begins to plan our demise

Drew's new favorite toy is his activity walker. (yes, the one we stole from grandmother's house, I know, Mom. You'll get it back. Some day.)

For those of you who have not reproduced and thus are not part of the wonderful world of Fisher-Price, this is an activity walker:

(and what's up with the androgynous kid with the too-short pants? you can buy a $30 toy but you can't get your kid some clothes that fit?)

From what I can tell, the purpose of this toy is to allow your child to move much faster than he is currently physically capable of moving, thereby endangering all other living beings that reside with the child.

One of Drew's favorite activity walker undertakings involves loudly and screechingly attempting to mow down our cat, Bastian.

And I have to admit, it's one of the funniest sights I've seen - the cat swerving around the corner, ears flattened, tummy low, followed quickly by the walker pushed by Drew, whose eyes are alight with the joy of the hunt.

I know. I'm going straight to hell.

For some reason, Drew thinks the walker works better if, while he's pushing it, he yells "HEYHEYHEYDAHDAHHEYHEYHEY" at the top of his lungs (kind of like a white and tiny Fat Albert)- as if the force of the sound waves can propel him further and faster.

Obviously, this is even more distressing for Bastian. Oh, the indignities he's suffering. You can almost hear him thinking, "why why why do humans teach their offspring to walk?"

Well. If we didn't learn to walk, we wouldn't be able to bring you cat food and empty your poopy litter box. That's the only reason we need to get around anyway, right?

wherein i discuss my mad money management skills

So. I did it.

I actually did it. For the first time in probably about five years.

I went shopping on Black Friday - the day after Thanksgiving - biggest retail nightmare of the year.

And it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

On Friday, me and my mom and my youngest sister Laura all woke up at the ungodly and inhumane hour of 5 a.m. and began the arduous process of finding a shopping cart at a Kohl's that was so packed with people it appeared ready to burst.

You know what struck me the most? (no, it wasn't a smell) It was how nice people were. All that chocolate mocha latte cappucino frappe from the Starbucks across the street must have worked some type of mood-heightening magic, because most of the shoppers were positively amiable. They smiled when you squeezed past them and accidentally stepped on their feet; they picked up the 14 boxes that you dropped because you couldn't find a cart and had to hand-carry 6 boxes in each hand while kicking two boxes down the aisles and they chuckled as you exchanged witticisms while standing in the 40-foot-long checkout line.

The only person who got even a tad snarky was the checkout guy at Harry & David's, who got miffed when I pointed out that the price sign on the cheesecake bites was misleading. Well. It was. I passed college algebra. I can add. The sign didn't make any damn sense that's my story and I'm sticking to it so bah humbug mr. pissed-off cashier man.

My only real problem was that, with all the awesome sales and the tinsel and the bright lights and the Santas and elves and all the green and red, well, I got a bit carried away by the spirit of the season.

Yes, I got suckered by crass commercialism, so what? Everyone will just love their presents and they'll be happy and smiling and they will love me forever and that's worth spending a bit more than I planned to spend this week.

tossings and turnings

Drew had a nightmare last night.

What do toddlers have nightmares about? Being hit in the head with large, plastic toys? Being gnawed upon by other toddlers? (actually, that would be a pretty bad nightmare - Night of the Living Dead, but with babies.)

At any rate, once whatever unholy vision it was had permeated his dreamsleep, he was no longer willing to slumber peacefully in his crib. Only sleeping in big-person bed with Mom and Dad would suffice.

Drew is not a tranquil sleeper. He is a kick-you-in-the-head-toss-and-turn sleeper. He is a mumble-nonsense-repeatedly-groan-and-moan sleeper.

At one point during the night, he started grunting and snoring and I reached over to pat what I thought was his head, and instead found myself rubbing his feet. At another point, he decided to use Charles' stomach as a pillow and my stomach as a foot rest.

And at occasional intervals, he would sit straight up, babble something profound like, "Ah gah do ray" and then tumble over and start snoring again.

Needless to say, Charles and I did not achieve much REM sleep while enduring the nocturnal acrobatics of our only child.

while walking downtown to lunch today...

I discovered the definition of irony.

It's a bumper sticker that says, "Save Gas. Ride a Horse."

Stuck on the rear bumper of an SUV.

'tis the season for otitis media (acute)

Yes, Drew has another ear infection.

Frankly, I'm so relieved for some rational explanation of his most current bout of sleeplessness that I could have kissed the doctor, if she'd have just stood still long enough.

The pediatrician's office was so full of mucus-y, crying, snot-covered children that the doc didn't have a whole lot of time to spend on us.

"Hehasanearinfectionhere,here'ssomeAmoxicillin
takeittwiceadayandheshouldbefineOKanyquestions?no?goodgoodgoodkthanksbye."

Now, I know that Amoxicillin can't possibly work this fast, but Drew slept all night last night - with nary a peep. Maybe it was just the comfort that came from knowing that something was being done about his infection and that we weren't just ignoring him in favor of staying home and watching reruns of Judging Amy. (which I really would have liked to do. Amy became my best friend during maternity leave. She really understood.)

This past weekend, I caught up with a friend of mine from high school. I hadn't seen her in, oh, about 10 years. I took Drew over to her house and had lunch with her, her husband and her three beautiful, red-headed children, ages 4, 7 and 10. Quite the houseful. (fortunately, her husband obviously makes a fortune doing something they were both very vague about, so they have this huge gorgeous house, ohmygodihatethem. and why so vague about hubby's job? does he work for the mafia? is he developing secret weapons for the government? am i endangering my life and the lives of all i hold dear by asking these questions on a public blog?)

During the visit, I got a sneak preview of life with a fully mobile preschool-age boy. It sounds something like this:

"thumpthumpthumpthump THUMP." <pause> "thumpthumpthumpthump THUMP." <pause> "Maaaaaoooooommm!!!" "thumpthumpthump BANG."

Their youngest son is named Andrew. He's four.

Prominently displayed on their refrigerator was a large, white card, upon which, in bold, block letters, was the rather ominous-sounding phrase: "Andrew Potty."

This, I was informed, was to remind them to remind Andrew every so often to "go potty", so he won't forget and have an unseemly accident.

I think this is a great idea. Drew isn't going potty yet, but think of all of the other ways this handy tool could be applied for my husband.

"Charles Cook." "Charles Diaper." "Charles Buy Amy Present for No Reason."

Yes, I can see this becoming quite a fixture in my own household.

conversations on the drive home

Me: I wish all my problems could be solved with an animal cracker.
Charles: Most of mine can.

Me: I don't think Drew wants to listen to Bill O'Reilly right now.
Charles: Then what the hell does he want to listen to?
Me: Apparently, country music.
Charles: My brain cells are dying.
Charles: I think I just lost an IQ point.

Me: <singing> Sleigh bills ring. Are you listening?
Me: <singing> In the lane. Snow is glistening.
Me:  <singing> I really should learn. The rest of this song. Walking in a winter wonderland.

Charles: Give him a cookie.
Me: I don't think he's hungry. I think he's just tired of being in the car.
Charles: If he's chewing on a cookie, he won't be able to cry.
Me: Or...he could just choke to death.
Charles: Don't make me stop this car.
Me: Fine. I'll give him a damn cookie. At least it will shut you up.

but sometimes, i miss my legwarmers

Ahh the '80s. Found this list online:

If you can identify with at least half of this list then you, my friend, are a "Child of the 80's".

1. You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off".

Ah, Ralph Macchio. Was he ever cool? Even back then?

2. You know that another name for a keyboard is a "Synthesizer".

3. You can sing the McDonald's Big Mac, Filet-O-Fish, Quarter Pounder, French Fry song while jump roping.

4. You know who "Mr. T" is.

That's right, fool.

5. You know who Fat Albert is. And also the boy with the pink mask.

6. You ever wore fluorescent, neon clothing.

Lime green was the new black.

7. You could break dance, or wish you could.

8. You wanted to be "The Hulk" for Halloween.

9. You Believed that "By the power of Greyskull, you HAD the power!"

10. Partying "like it's 1999" seemed SO far away.

11. You thought that Transformers were more than meets the eye.

12. You wanted to be on Star Search.

13. You remember the Garbage Pail Kids, and owned some.

14. You knew what Willis was "talkin' 'bout."

15. You HAD to have your MTV.

16. You wondered why Tootie always wore those skates.

With legwarmers!

17. You actually thought "Dirty Dancing" was a REALLY good movie.

You mean it's not?

18. You watched Purple Rain over and over again.

Speaking of crappy movies...

19. You remember the episode of Good Times when Flo broke down after James' funeral.

No, but I remember a few "very special" episodes of Blossom.

20. You remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game system.

"Adventure" was a totally rockin' game. Come on now.

21. You own any cassettes.

I have two in my car right now.

22. You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we'd all be living on the moon.

23. You remember and/or owned any of the Care Bear Glass collection from Pizza Hut.

24. Poltergeist freaked you out.

Well, why wouldn't it? A TV ate a little girl. That's some scary stuff.

25. You carried your lunch to school in a Gremlins or an ET lunch box.

26. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf.

I always thought she must have been one very busy smurf.

27. You know what leg warmers are and probably had a pair.

Try four pairs.

28. You wore biker shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish.

29. You had a Swatch Watch with the Swatch Guard.

I had three Swatch Watches that I wore at the same time.

30. You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny.

Vaguely.

31. You had Wonder Woman or Superman underoos.

Wonder Woman, all the way, baby.