on the ride to work
Charles: Wake up. Start a conversation with me.
Me: (opening one eye) Wha?
Charles: I feel like I'm always doing all the talking.
Me: You are always doing all the talking.
Charles: Have you run out of things to talk about with me? After only six years of marriage?
Me: (sigh)
Charles: I want to have a conversation and I want you to start one.
Me: OK. Um....Barbecue. Mustard-based or tomato-based? Discuss.
Charles: I don't like the topic.
Me: I prefer mustard-based myself. It's tangy.
Charles: Start over.
Me: You know...there's a lot of pressure on me here to be witty and charming and interesting. It's 7:13 in the morning. I'm barely awake.
Charles: I didn't say you had to be witty or charming or anything.
Me: But the implication is there.
Charles: I know you spend all day talking and listening and I know you sometimes just don't want to talk.
Me: OK. Can I go back to sleep now?
Charles: No. I want to talk. What are you thinking right this minute?
Me: I'm thinking I really don't like the idea of you crawling out of the second story window to clean out the gutters. I think we should buy a ladder.
Charles: I don't need a ladder.
Me: We're homeowners now. We should have a ladder. It's just what one has when one owns a home.
Charles: How am I going to get a ladder home in this car? It's not big enough.
Me: Don't they fold up?
Charles: I don't want to talk about this any more.
Me: You asked what I was thinking.
Charles: What else are you thinking?
Me: I'm thinking we should have another baby.
Charles: Oh hell no.
Me: Not right now or anything. Just some time in the near future.
Charles: Maybe after I finish my degree.
Me: That's like two years from now. I'll be too old.
Charles: This isn't the 1800s, Amy. Women can have children well into their 40s.
Me: I'm going back to sleep.
This whole conversation is just too funny to even respond to. Now you know how to end any dialog - just bring up having another child!!!!!
Posted by:Mom | Wednesday, January 11, 2006 at 03:36 PM
I know! I'm totally going to use that whenever I want Charles to hush up and leave me alone.
"Hey honey, let's talk about having another baby. Maybe two more! Maybe three!"
Posted by:Amy | Wednesday, January 11, 2006 at 03:44 PM
With two toddlers of my own, I find I am too tired most of the time for any conversation... with anyone... especially my husband.
Funny stuff!!!
Posted by:rina | Wednesday, January 11, 2006 at 11:08 PM